I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
