hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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