She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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