dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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