Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
