Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
