I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
