He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
