he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
