I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize