I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
