found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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