meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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