It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize