no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
