Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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