And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
