dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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