Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you guys were way drunker than both of me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
