He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
