remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
