Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize