Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
