just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
