So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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