Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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