Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
