It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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