sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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