some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
