I want to have your abortion
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
