Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
