he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
