Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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