everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
