i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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