Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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