we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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