I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize