I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
