Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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