Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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