It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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