My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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