Is it because I queefed?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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