and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
