We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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