The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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