Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
