Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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