Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
