we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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