He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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