I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
