After last night, I could never be a politician.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
