as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
