Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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