She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
