My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
