I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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