How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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