i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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