god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
