well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
