i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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