Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize